I have a guilty pleasure. It is tame by most accounts; every Sunday morning while the Professor is still sleeping, I enjoy watching episodes of ‘Say Yes To The Dress!’ The allure is not because I need nor want a wedding dress, Lord knows I’ve done that enough! My attraction to the show is more than dress dreaming, it’s more like by my viewing the show I feel like I am invited into a very special moment in the lives of these happy people.
This morning was no exception. Today’s show was about this absolutely lovely young bride-to-be and her intended groom who was wheel-chair bound. In keeping with the show’s format, Randy Fenoli, one of the stars of the show, asks…’How did you meet your fiancé ?’ The story this young woman told was nothing short of dazzling. She explained to Randy that her fiancé , while playing football during his freshman year of college, met with a devastating tackle which left him paralyzed from the neck down. She said that she and her fiancé had met on-line through social media. She told him, ‘When Chris and I began talking, I knew he was in a wheel chair, but 5 minutes into it that image faded away as it was clear that didn’t define him. The more time I spent in his presence, the more I knew that whatever life threw at me, I could make it through because we had each other. Together we are stronger.” I thought that was such a profound statement for this beautiful young woman to make.
Carrying that mantra into our everyday lives makes me excited for the future of our humanity. As a nation, together we are stronger! Henry Ford said “Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.” Just as an outstanding athlete cannot belong solely to himself, we, as a nation, need to keep reaching for others to stand with us in solidarity in order to effectuate change. And, to be victorious, we must be courageous in our reaching.
The lovely young bride’s story above has the most spectacular ending. Throughout the year of wedding planning, she and her fiancé worked tirelessly to demonstrate their mantra ‘Together we are stronger’. Minutes after being pronounced husband and wife, this amazing young woman reached down and helped lift her groom from his chair and stood before family and friends and shared their first kiss as husband and wife. Then delicately they turned, and both WALKED, small step by small step, back down the aisle clinging to each other as a married couple.
In keeping with my crusade “I Can Do Better”, I have begun to look around for actions I could take each day to perpetuate this thought. It hasn’t been difficult to find a small change that would make someone’s day better, and I find that I feel the change too, resulted from my improved mindset. Reap what you sow…’Right, Grammie?’
Today I was preoccupied with the Professor and his eye surgery, and as I was sitting in the waiting room I began to ponder what small changes I could make. My mind wandered and I had a ‘Eureka’ moment – how about, instead, starting the day with….Who Can I Make Happy Today? Now let me tell you, many ideas starting whirling in my brain right off the bat!
The word HAPPY is defined as ‘an unexpected pleasure’. I wondered ‘what action could I spontaneously take to make someone happy? ‘Ah ha!’, I thought, what about this example:
I have a friend who rises very early every morning; her family’s travel is such that she is often alone. Why not fix a cup of coffee and reach out to her early morn for a ladies chat? I know this call would be received with loving emotion, and certainly would be an ‘unexpected pleasure’.
Making her happy in return would make me happy. She, beginning her day happy, will certainly carry forward into her daily actions, and so on and so on! I smell ‘epidemic!’
Making it a spiritual exercise to do good every day is really propelling. I hope the contagion of this behavior pattern is catching you, too.
We need more dreamers in the world! People who dream possess a mind that knows no limits. They imagine the seemingly impossible, even when they are wondering about ordinary things.
I’ve been accused of having my head in the clouds on more than one occasion. I take that as a huge compliment; I like being thought of as a deep thinker. People with this perspective believe they can achieve anything that is possible. And, that is a beautiful mindset.
It is said that your dreams connect you to your inner self. When you are anchored in this way, one can be propelled to follow his true calling. Seeking out one’s purpose in life is always downright fulfilling to the soul. But, in order to be able to achieve this, one must maintain a strong belief in themselves.
Today, I unplugged at the end of the day. No electronic stimulation whatsoever. I found my way to a winding narrow island road that skirted the Gulf of Mexico where I sat on a rock and watched the sun fall. Since my devotion was great, I was rewarded with a magnificent mango sunset.
“God understands us when we try to love.” — Dorothy Day, Activist for Women’s Suffrage/Social Justice.
I’ve been obsessed with angels of late. I seem to feel them around more than ever. Are they delivering something to me, or am I failing in some respect and it is believed I need guidance? Regardless, I am receiving them and I hope they like what they find. I am certainly not ready for sainthood, by any means, but I work on improving day after day.
I have studied the Saints and their deeds, and I know emphatically that ‘working at doing good’ is the avenue I need to walk. I believe it is important to remember that Holy people were human beings once, too. They were full of complexities and struggles, just like us. Yet, their lives were spent in service to others. It’s been said an extraordinary person is one whose inner and outer lives are in accord. When a person does in the world what his innermost being leads him to do, his life is in alignment with his purpose, and by that great things can emerge.
My new campaign of ‘I Can Do Better‘ is working in my daily life. I hope if you decided to try it on for size, it might be working well for you, too!
“The world will be saved by beauty.” — Dostoyevsky, 19th Century Russian Novelist.
Ok, I am not going to throw out a lot of weak statements to you, or try and convince you of my earnest efforts at doing better. But what I am going to do is tell you a short story on how my day went after being powered by my mantra – I can do better!
I awoke like any other morning, except this morning as I descended the stairs and opened the blinds I uttered, “I will do better today.” Nothing miraculous happened, I did not hear angels singing their ‘oohs and aahs’, I did not see a rainbow magically appear in the sky, nor did I feel the earth move. However, not receiving cosmic acknowledgment does not equate to an unresponsive universe. Remember that!
Next up was the arrival of the Federal Express driver. I thought…I can do better! So, without hesitation, I got up from my desk and walked out the front door down to the street and waited. I heard the driver thrashing about through the boxes and as she emerged from the back of the truck, I was waiting! Did I do better? Yes, I believe I did.
As the afternoon hours began to dwindle, I hurried to the grocery store to pick up the items missing from the night’s menu. Once my cart was complete, I searched for a quick line. I found one and began to unload my items when I looked up and noticed the bagger. Oh gawd, it is the dreaded ‘bread mashing box crushing peach bruising’ villain of a bagger. Ugh! I am hating this line! Thoughts running through my head, ‘should I quick grab my items and change lanes?’ I am in a quandary here. No, I thought, I can do better! I sucked up all my anxiety and kept quiet. This was a huge feat for me because as a former market girl I KNOW how to properly bag groceries. After greeting the checker, and paying for my items, I even had a kind hello for the ‘meat dripping bagger’. I left the store and proceeded to the car to load the bags (incidentally — I was certain I would be standing at the tailgate repacking the bags!) But to my absolute amazement, I had left the store with three perfectly packed bags! Wowzer! Because I had tried to do better — did the bagger try to do better?
Whereas, saving a FedEx driver a few steps on her delivery, and meeting with circumstance in a courteous manner may not sound like much, I look at it this way — Perhaps that driver was a young mother and those steps and time I saved her made it possible for her to arrive at her child’s soccer game timely. Or maybe she received a few accolades to her delivery record with her employer for bringing her load in early. Maybe the bagger at the store, who I have had discussion with prior, noticed me, too, and said to herself ‘I don’t want to disappoint this customer again, I can do better!’ And perhaps her employer noticed her efforts and commended her. You, see…small adjustments and efforts really can bring about change, and that results in a little more kindness in the world!
I listened to a refreshing television broadcast this evening. Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, England was questioned about his occasional choice of private air travel for he and his bride and infant son. He faced this criticism and humbly deflected it with some simple responses. The Prince said, “I can do better, we all can do better…we all have a responsibility for our own individual impact.” Wherein he was generally speaking of his most recent initiative called Travel List, which he set up to educate people on travel choices that are sustainable on the environment, and to work with large businesses on their making sustainable choices, I felt that his words had a more global ring to them.
“I can do better, we all can do better…we all have a responsibility for our own individual impact.”
Isn’t this true about the manner in which we navigate life in general? Isn’t it true in terms of how we treat or speak to others? Isn’t it an accurate statement on the choices we make that lean toward self-serving? In all of these things, I know I can do better, and I believe that you can do better, too. Together our individual impacts will marry, and by that, result in bringing about more kindness to this divisive world.
So, tomorrow when I wake up I am going to start my day with the mantra, ‘I can do better!’ I am going to use those words to propel me through the day. And, should I encounter any strangers, I will somehow let it be known that I am trying to do better and hope that these words strike a chord within them too!
Awaking to the horrifying first images of the Bahama Islands, Pearl Bailey and I were astounded. Abaco and Freeport islands were the first in reporting, all the while the storm still raged outside the shelter walls, seemingly stalled for no other reason than it’s intent of total obliteration.
With tears streaming down failing into my coffee cup, and Pearl Bailey more subdued than usual (again, she vibes off of me), neither one of us could bear the news. I put my head in my hands and cried; Pearl Bailey covered her eyes and sighed. It was a very big sigh.
The Bahamian Islands are a group of hundreds of islands and cays, which lie southeast of my State of Florida. It is a nation of people known for their welcoming, warm responsive attention to its visitors. They are a strong people made-up from many different nationalities. This tiny island nation has withstood many hurricanes, some of them catastrophic , but Dorian’s calling card was not a welcome visitor. Dorian delivered the Bahama’s a devastating blow, and she hasn’t let up yet, even when this beautiful island nation cried “Uncle!”
One courageous Freeport resident interviewed on CNN spoke with hope, he said “We think of the State of Florida as our big brother, we watched the devastation you suffered during Katrina and Michael, we have drawn on your resilience to come together. We are a nation of re-builders, we will come together and be stronger, we will build stronger, and we will be a better opponent next time.” As a Floridian, this made me want to jump in a boat and get over there are soon as possible.
Friends of my blog, Island Jane located in Key West, are helping in the organization of relief help as soon as it is safe to navigate over there. The Key West folks, also known as Conchs, know how to come together. Hit hard in 2017 by the Cat 4 storm, Irma, the Key islands showed their resiliance and have re-built with doors re-opened. The effort these folks are calling for is: tarps, batteries, flash lights, toiletries of all types; generators, medicines, first-aid kits, clothing, construction materials. If you can contribute to this effort, please send to drop off location: Seahunter Boat Factory; 25545 SW 140 Ave., Homestead, FL 33032. They ask to please not send cash, make those contributions directly to a local Bahamian relief organizations.
I think it is important to say that no amount of contribution is too small. If each one of us just dug in our pocket and offered just $5 – we could build a sizable mountain of hope. A $5 pack of batteries – drop it in the mail; a $10 tarp – send it along; a couple of flash lights – swaddle them in bubble wrap and ship them off. Enlist your kids in the efforts, teach them what it means to ‘give hope’. These islands have been crushed by this monster, believe me every little bit makes a difference.
Thank you for anything you can do, even if it is only to spread awareness so others may help. I am grateful you lent me your ear. Big Heart!
I had a strange encounter. It was not an uncomfortable one, in fact, it kind of felt like home. I truly believe it was an angel.
As I was entering the airport in my Florida town departing for a quick-turnaround trip to New York, I noticed a statuesque woman with closely cropped grey hair standing across the room in an entrance doorway. She was gazing at me. I was a bit taken back for she reminded me of my dear friend’s recently departed mother. Instead of sluffing it off, I began to let the feeling settle around me.
Thoughts were running through my head while I logged onto the kiosk to print my boarding passes, and all the way through security I had a nagging feeling that I would see this woman again.
The Professor and I were seated with seat-belts fastened waiting for the boarding process to complete. In the last file of passengers, the same woman appeared and sat down in the aisle-seat next to me. I felt a strange sense of calm. She spoke little, but was immensely pleasant and there was something very wise about her demeanor . The dialogue exchange between us was mostly related to the flight and our fears. Upon take off, however, this woman gently laid her hand over top of mine and said almost in a whisper…”I hope you don’t mind, I usually travel with my daughter.” (Hmmm…)
Once airborne, our nice exchange dwindled somewhat and the lady’s attention wandered to the seat mate across the aisle. At that point, I returned my attention to the New York Times Crossword Puzzle. The remainder of the flight was unremarkable, and we filed out in order once the plane had landed.
The Professor and I began to walk in search of the Flight Board in order to find our connecting gate. Once we verified where we were going we made a stop at the next set of restrooms and realized we had best hustle up as the next flight’s concourse was a hike. It was not long into our walking clip that the mystery lady appeared. She was standing in the middle of the corridor, not moving, looking perplexed as hordes of passengers scurried around her. The Professor was a good pace ahead of me, yet I took the chance and stopped to inquire if she needed help. She smiled beatifically at me and said, “Oh yes, thank you.” And again, she said “I’m sorry, I usually travel with my daughter.” I asked her if she was heading north, like me, and she responded, “No, I am going to Savannah.” I checked her paperwork and discovered the gate she needed was B-13, the gate for my New York Flight was B-14. (Hmmm…)
I told her she could come with me but that we’d have to hustle up as both our flights would be taking off soon. I asked her if she needed a wheel chair, she responded, “…it’s okay, I can make it”.
I successfully hooked back up with the Professor, and we navigated through the moving walkways until we reached the B concourse and I was able to deliver this lovely soul to her gate. As I turned to go, she reached up and gave me a hug. Now, where a hug is not such an uncommon gesture to offer in return of a simply act of kindness, what happened next was. This benevolent soul reached up and embraced me by both of my shoulders, and looked into my eyes and uttered one simple word “Peace”. That was it. No other exchange, just one simple word delivered with her beautiful smile.
Now, you would think this story ends here; simply an elderly person with a vague resemblance to someone I once knew; followed by an encounter where she speaks of her daughter. A good soul, needing some assistance, and me in a position to offer that help. Yes, you would think the story stopped there, except for the nagging sensation within me.
You see, I felt her spirit in the warmth of her hand atop of mine. I felt her energy as she spoke of her daughter and their travels together. I saw in her eyes a golden aura that made this all real. I truly believe she was an angel, an angel with a message that needed delivering. And, I felt I was being blessed with this spiritual gift.
I let the feeling stay with me. I know most of us tend to dismiss simple occurrences while tending to details in our busy lives, but this feeling I did not dismiss, I let it take up residence.
Once home from my quick trip, I felt the compelling urge to contact my dear friend. We arranged a call. I told her of my encounter, how much this lovely soul reminded me of her mom, and how I felt I had a message to deliver. This dear friend began to sob, her sensitivity worn right up front. She told me “It’s been 212 days since Mom left this earth. I can no longer hear her voice in my head, I have been praying so hard for any kind of sign. I miss her so much.” I knew then, this lovely older woman that I had encountered, who possessed a persona that I could well recognize, was the answer to my dear friend’s prayer. Angels walk among us unnoticed sometimes, but they are always there in case we need protection, advice, or as in this case, to deliver a simple message to a grieving child.
As sweet as this story is, there is a caveat to it, you see…my dear friend has always had a favorite mantra. It is the word “Peace”. She even has a large old hippie peace sign that hangs on her front porch year around. Now, if that doesn’t make the hairs on the shackles of your neck tickle!
On a recent short-turnaround visit made to New York City to honor our best friends’ milestone wedding anniversary, we woke the next morning to a picture perfect day with the temperature lingering around 78 degrees and a light westerly breeze blowing through the avenues. This, of course, is unheard of in the month of August for the City That Never Sleeps.
Thoughts running through our heads as to what we might get into, our native New Yorker anniversary bride spoke up and said “Why don’t we walk The High Line?” The High Line ~ what’s that? Well, let me share with you some details of this marvelous elevated linear park created on a former New York Central Railroad spur located on the west-side of Manhattan.
The High Line, built on a historic freight line, is more than just a park – it is a public space set forth for the enjoyment of both the residents of the City as well as tourists. You can view art, walk-through wildflower gardens, experience live musical performances all enjoyed from a unique elevated perspective.
Walking the High Line was an experience so astounding to me that I would like to deliver this adventure to you in an upcoming four-series post. I will publish my exposition every Saturday for the next four weeks! Stay tuned this Saturday as I begin writing on this wonderful topic. It is a fascinating story as to how this world-class city came to re-purposing its industrial infrastructure into a beautiful city park.
Life used to be a gentleman’s game. There was a certain dignity that existed; a respectability that was taught to children, to soldiers, to young mothers and to our society as a whole. Today’s lack of such stateliness is bringing a pall over our civility.
I am not a great thinker, but I try to surround myself with them. I can not help but think of our founding fathers and the principals that they set forth. We have deviated so far from that framework, I wonder if we will ever get back in my lifetime.
The world that my granddaughter inherits is far different from the world than I inherited from my post-World War II parents. Yes, the world that was passed down to my generation worked at changing mindsets as the Age of Aquarius broke down barriers. But I believe fiercely that my generation brought about change without the harsh, rude and divisive behavior that we see today.
I don’t know how we go about fixing this tragedy that we are living today. As a writer, I hope by my offering a voice over such ungentlemanly and unladylike behavior it will help bring to the forefront a desperate need for change so that our children’s children will succeed as they should.
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‘Drop by drop washes a mountain away!’ – Lottie Fundulis
