Category: Antics of Pearl Bailey

This morning, as I was about to step in the shower, Pearl Bailey showed up with an unexpected surprise.

There I was naked, hair pulled back tightly in a bun waiting for the water to warm sufficiently and all of a sudden Miss Bailey appeared in the doorway with the most quizzical look on her face. I thought she was just looking for me, but the look on her face told me something was up. I spoke to her, “what’s you doing?” With that question delivered, she promptly opened her mouth and deposited a “live” baby lizard at my feet! Ewwwww!!! Now, mind you I am naked, so I let out a blood-curdling scream as I felt as vulnerable and defenseless as any human could possibly feel at that moment. Well, the scream echoed through the hall and cited a riot of sorts. The Professor came running thinking something had happened to me, Pearl Bailey leapt in the air in a turn-around pirouette, racing after her trophy and trying to re-capture it, and I jumped up onto the toilet seat!

Order was restored, however, as the Professor caught the little fella’ before the our gal could take him prisoner again. Once the incident was over, and I had completed my shower and morning routine, I joined the rest of the family waiting downstairs for breakfast.

There is one good thing that came out of this unexpected event, at least for today Pearl Bailey will not have lizard breath!

You may have heard me mention Pearl Bailey’s Shangri-La on more than one occasion. This is a reference to the full and lushly landscaped mecca that the Professor and I created for the likes of our maniac puppy, Pearl Bailey. This lovely oasis is completely enclosed which creates the necessary boundaries for this devious Diva. Now that PB has grown into a full-sized dog (a-hem), she has happily and rightfully claimed the serene refuge as her own.

This morning our demon dog was anxious and I didn’t exactly know why. So, after I let her out I picked up my coffee and took up a spot on the wonderful screen porch which is cantilevered over the yard and watched as today’s episode unfolded.

First off, she walked the entire perimeter, a slow saunter with a great deal of sniffing added for highlight. Next, she took a sit under each palm tree and gazed up watching for any activity. Finally, she laid down in the center of the yard giving herself a good vantage point should anything require her immediate attention. And, that is when I figured it out!

Figured out what you say? I figured out what is at the root of Pearl Bailey’s obsession with Merle the Squirrel. You see, Pearl Bailey is out in her oasis about four times a day (and she can stay out for as long as she likes as long as a peaceful quietude is maintained). The rest of the day, she and her cohort, Ella Fitzgerald, are inside resting up for the next meal. It is during the unoccupied times in the yard that Merle has free reign. So this preoccupation that Pearl Bailey has for the rodent is really all about ‘who’s in charge!’ If Pearl Bailey is out there, she rules the roost, but if she is inside Merle can run amok.

So, when Pearl Bailey finally came back in after this morning bivouac, I asked her straight up, “You in charge out there?” She looked at me with sarcasm which conveyed, “Of course I am!”

And, there you have it – right from the horse’s mouth!

As I headed out this morning on a trip to Asheville this is what I came across!

No, not really, I am at home on the island but I thought a little amusement was in order for you on this Tuesday morning!

These hilarious photographs are part of a commercial advertisement posted from the Tourism Bureau for Asheville NC, a city located in the far west corner of North Carolina nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains and known for its vibrant art scene and historic architecture. I don’t know alot about this interesting town but I do know the folks there have a great sense of humor!

Hope I made you laugh today!

Happy Tuesday.

We keep a pretty tight schedule around here during the work week. While the Professor keeps things humming downstairs in his office, I am upstairs in my studio. Pearl Bailey loves to keep me company during this time, and this arrangement makes me quite happy. Throughout most of the day, but particularly during these times, I am apt to hold long and deep conversations with Her Highness. Sometimes she listens intently but most times her interest is mild. I can always tell when her interest is beginning to wane for that is when she strikes her favorite ‘lying on her back’ pose. I always cajole her and tell her she is silly yet she persists in the pose, sometimes holding it for an hour or more!

I love seeing the far-away look in her eyes as she gazes at the ceiling. I think ‘is she pondering what I have just told her’ or ‘is she tuning me out and entering into dream state’? I love the spirit of this intelligent animal even though I throw her under the bus whenever she has deemed to become one with a dirt pile. My respect for her is still immense.

This morning was filled with a different delight. Today’s antic had our Miss Silly Pants taking her typical stance but donning an almost laughing posture. I have to tell you, when I looked over at her I busted out in giggles of pure amusement!

What a great way to begin a Monday morning!

Last night, waiting at the top of the stairs for the rest of her pack to ascend, I found Pearl Bailey bathed in light. Hmm…I thought, is that a halo?

Now, as I have clearly demonstrated in previous writings where I have
offered her antics as delicately as I can, Miss Pearl Bailey is far from a
saintly creature. But I will admit, despite her mischievous behavior, she does  possess a heart of gold.

Since I am always one to give credit where credit is due, I’ve decided to contact the Vatican and see if they would be willing to consider her for canonization! I am thinking she could be recognized as Saint Pearl Bailey, Patron Saint of Good Intentions and Loathsome Deeds.

I wonder what they’ll say?

Pearl Bailey startled me awake this morning, and man – she was in a frenzy. She raced down the stairs before me in a conniption fit! Once I opened the sliding glass door, she barreled down the outside steps into the her Shangri-La and came face to face with her nemesis, Merle the Squirrel.

Now, let it be known that Merle is a mischievous scamp. He’s been taunting Pearl Bailey for years; almost from Day 1 of Pearl Bailey’s existence! The two share an almost love-hate relationship. I really believe that Pearl Bailey would like to become friends, but Merle is a vilifier – his mocking sneers at this drooling dumb dog are something out of a cartoon book!

The best part of this morning’s ‘squirrel-du-soleil’ performance was Pearl Bailey almost caught the wily varmint! I watched from the porch as she leapt three feet in the air narrowly missing Merle’s fuzzy tail as he jumped from the fence up onto an adjacent palm tree. Now, I tell you, jumping three feet in the air for Pearl Bailey is nothing short of miraculous. Her ‘never miss a meal’ hefty physique (my nephew refers to her as “Stick a’ Butter) is certainly a deterrent to her agility. But, when I tell you she bounded for that fence section, she was in it – 100%. Got to give it to her, this girl is all heart!

After the narrow miss for a tasty breakfast supplement, Pearl Bailey returned to the house and proceeded to tell Ella all about it! And, she didn’t even have to embellish the story, this was true reporting at its finest!

Pearl Bailey is a handful. Pure and simple, she is possessed by some deviant mischievous being that powers her and urges her to do diabolical things (she told me this!)

When I was upstairs today putting away the freshly folded laundry, the Professor was downstairs with the hounds. I guess he had let them out into their Shangri-La while he tended to his work. A short while later I heard the slider open and before long I heard Pearl Bailey barreling up the stairs to join me! I thought, ‘How nice…she misses me’. Huh! Not even close! Miss Grungy Pants jumped up onto the bed and plopped down in all her dirty glory, and when I turned around I shrieked with dismay, “Oh gawd, Pearl Bailey, jeez not on my bed!”

And, what did this demon diva do in response to this reaction, you ask? She turned around the other direction and proceeded to wipe her face on my pillow!

And, I thought I was done with the laundry for this week…guess I thought wrong!

Pearl Bailey and I scurried down the steps early this morning wanting to catch the news on the latest track of Hurricane Dorian bound for the State of Florida where we live. Sure enough, the overnight track of the vast storm had not changed much, the eye seemingly still headed for the East Coast beaches of Fort Lauderdale and Palm Beach with a projected impact of a Category 4. Whereas the track of this storm, at present, is not predicted to give our Gulf Coast beaches a direct wallop, we do need to prepare for the worst as we learned when we became Floridians.

“Wow,” I told Pearl Bailey, “this could be a very bad storm. Do you remember two years ago when we were evacuated due to Hurricane Irma? ” She nonchalantly gave me one of her ‘sighs’ and turned her face away from the television broadcast. I believe the only thing on HER mind this morning was the breakfast meal I had yet to prepare for her!

Jeez, in the face of potential disaster PB, a little latitude would be appreciated!

Prettiest dog I have ever owned!

Does one really ‘own’ a dog – or do they ‘own us’ like “…this is my master…” Or, are they, instead, simply on loan to us — to take care of us and guide us, amuse us and call upon us to deliver our best humanity and grace through their unconditional love and acceptance?

To me, the canine spirit is essential to my world. I have always had it, I have always relied upon it, and always will have it. I cannot imagine walking one day without a canine spirit beside me (sometimes two if the Professor is agreeable to my campaign of the minute).

Friends and family know, unequivocally, not to take me on any shelter runs with them, for surely I will come home with another soul. My golden-hair sister tried that once – sent me to a shelter on a preview run when she adopted her boy, Samuel. The result of that little adventure had me pestering the Professor for weeks until he agreed I could adopt Ella ~ a re-home from a responsible breeder. I can be relentless when it comes to dogs, I can’t help myself.

Even Pearl Bailey is a result of this essential component to my being. My fiercely loyal Newfoundland, Maximus, lost his battle with degenerative arthritis on August 8, 2013. Exactly five weeks later, September 15, 2013, we lost our 14-year old Coton du Tulear to a cancerous mass. Devastated from these closely dated staggering losses, I sunk so low the Professor became desperate. One day shortly thereafter, I returned home to find my empty house alive again – enter Pearl Bailey antics and all!

So, when I tell you she is the prettiest dog I have ever owned, you can clearly understand why.

And, you now know the rest of the story!

No, you are not seeing double nor have I been down in a labortory seeking an ‘Ella’ clone.

Allow me to introduce, Reba (yes, named for the one and only Reba McIntyre). She is a neighboring visitor, and like my girls is named for a singer. Regardless of the fact they share that distinction, Reba is considered by all as part of the pack!

The photo I captured is quite comical to me because when these dames are all together, I refer to them as the Professor’s staff! This shot was taken right outside his office, and why they were lined up was left up to my imagination until my curiosity got the best of me. I ventured over to the window and took a look…..ewwww – it was a black racer snake! At least the insect population is being tended to!

Island Life!