Category: Antics of Pearl Bailey

The cold artic air has finally dropped down to the Sunshine State. Here on the Suncoast, we are waking to temps in the 50’s. Now, where temps in the 50’s are considered balmy in the northern states, down here in Florida that’s down right frigid! Feeling cold in 50 degree temperatures is a definitive sign that you have become a Floridian.

Pearl Bailey is in her glory. She insists on being outside for hours at a time. Now, where I support her zest for life driven by a cooler breeze, I am not one to trust that she won’t get into trouble being left outside unattended for hours on end. So, it is a back and forth to the sliding glass door all day and evening, checking and re-checking on her activities. For the most part, she has stayed out of trouble and remains clean.

At 6:30 am this morning, while the sky was still in a shadowy awakening, I let Pearl Bailey out to tend to her toiletries. Now, mind you, I was barefoot and in my ‘jammies and the outside temperature was closer to having a four in the number that it was to having a six in the number. Brrrr….. I temporarily lost PB from my thoughts as I sought out a warm cup of coffee. Sitting in front of the TV with the Sunday morning shows on screen, I hear the distinctive sound of a creaking gate. I jump up from my reverie to see a streak of blonde fur tearing across the front yard in hot pursuit of a wily varmint! It was Merle the Squirrel and Pearl Bailey was intent on his capture this time. Before I could even think twice, I flew out the front door in my morning state of undress shrieking like a fishmonger imploring her to halt! My poor barefeet took some abuse as I caught up to her on my neighbor’s wooded lot across the street. Merle the Squirrel was no where in sight, but Pearl Bailey was wearing the most beatific smile and wagging her tail in exuberant pride.

Having no leash, I hitched her up by the collar and slowly started the trek back over the sticks and leaves of the wooded lot, my tender feet suffering badly. When I finally brought her back inside, don’t you know she was at the back door wanting out again – No way sister! First, let me get some shoes so I can go out and secure that gate. Then we’ll talk about it!

The Professor returned home safely from his trip and the cooler temperatures on the island were primed to deliver a lovely winter sunset. Given the very thankful state I was in yesterday, a product of spending time in placidity and calm repose, I decided he and I should walk to the beach to give thanks.

The little beach, a mere 300 steps away, is about as special and serene a place that one could ever imagine. And, last evening’s visit did not disappoint. The beauty that was all around me was transporting. I had the thought that ‘even though I come often, I don’t come often enough’ for it fell upon me as the perfect setting to offer praise. Once home from the setting sun, I played with a new photo editor I found in enhancing the photos. What fun turning the golden rays and marine blues into works of art!

This morning made its appearance early and Pearl Bailey and I descended the stairs without incident. Easing into the day with a song on your heart and a feeling love and gratitude for every little thing is a wondrous, restorative sensation. I was looking forward to another positive day.

Pearl Bailey ignored all my calls to come in for breakfast. Starting to get exasperated (note: a personal pet peeve – dogs who won’t come when called), I started down into the yard when the phone rang. Well, one thing led to another and before I knew it, the Professor was down diddling in the kitchen with his coffee and apparently had let Pearl Bailey in. When I returned to the room there she was in the most shameful, pitiful condition, proof attached. What in the world happened, you ask?

The answer is this dame is a dirty, rotten scoundrel. You never know what you are going to get! At least now you are well-informed as to the rest of the story!

It’s been a peaceful couple of days. The Professor is away doing his ‘professing’ thing, and the hounds and I are enjoying the quietude. There is recovery due to my spirit I believe, having attended to the physical recovery already.

Pearl Bailey has been a model child for me. Nary a bad deed, nor even a bad intention exemplified. You will note, however, she has taken up residence in the Professor’s chair, and hey…I am not even going to scold her (ever heard the saying ‘when the cat’s away…?’) Well, that just about sums it up for the energy vibe we got going on down here on the island.

Pearl Bailey and her lifelong companion, Ella Fitzgerald, have been given a great deal of latitude thus far. I even allowed them to bark at the garbage collectors this morning. Yes, I allowed it. Now, this behavior would not be tolerated if the Professor was in residence, no, there would be early morning bellows uttered from the upper sanctum of the house that’s for sure. But I decided to let the dogs be dogs and allow them to enjoy their freedom too. Why should I be the only one who benefits from doing as I please?

I’m not saying that Pearl Bailey isn’t still possessed- she is, and actually was born that way. It is in her nature to disturb and get dirty any chance she gets. But she does have a streak of decency in her as witnessed by her oh so lovely welcoming home ‘I missed you my person’ posture. So I thought why not give her a wide berth, after all I am spreading the wealth of freedom!

Since I am feeling so extraordinarily thankful, I wish something wonderful to happen to you today. And when that something wonderful finds you I hope you feel ‘glee’, and think of me – the sender!

Now, the Professor is due home tomorrow, so business as usual will resume down here in our little island domain. But until then…it’s ladies first!

16 day hiatus! My goodness but a hospital stay will slow you down! I’m back in the saddle after what was prescribed to be ‘a piece of cake’, but being that I was a 67 year old virgin to surgery AND hospital admittance, it was anything but a piece of cake. Glad to have that ordeal behind me!

Even though Pearl Bailey was provided for during my absence, she was most profuse in her greeting when I walked through the door after the unexpected 5 days away. I’m telling you, she was downright happy! And, may I add, she was clean! It didn’t take either one of us a second to reclaim our position and both were grateful to see the other one looking so well.

It’s a neat thing to share those kinds of feelings with a canine. It is an emotion of mutual dependence. I know that I am Pearl Bailey’s favorite person, and if truth be told, I am her only person. The Professor is her master, and she regards him that way, but I am the one that supplies her sunshine, I am that person to her. It’s true that dogs often choose a favorite person, and it is usually the one who matches their own energy level and personality. So, I guess that it is true given the tone of my relationship with this grand dame.

I’m glad my convalescence time is finally over and the hum in the household has returned to its normal level. The regaining of my stamina was the hardest part of this ordeal.

It’s good to be back! Stay tuned….

Pearl Bailey turned six years old this year; it is hard to believe that more than 5-1/2 years have passed since my gaining stewardship of this great dame! Antics aside, I feel oh so fortunate that she come into my life. By Pearl Bailey’s presence in my life, I was able to move past mourning over my two boys dogs that I loved for years, and lost – both within five weeks of each other. There is so much healing that comes from the human/canine relationship.

So here we are, Pearl Bailey and I, both aging – she at middle age being her canine age to human span equaling 42 years, and me (well let’s just say…) in the geriatric phase of my life. In this regard, it should come as no surprise that Pearl Bailey has held onto a ‘few’ extra pounds as is common in many middle age matrons. After all, Miss Bailey is a chow hound, never missing her meals and stealing another’s food if ever given half a chance!

Being that she was due for her normal phase of inoculations, I made an appointment with a new veterinarian that had come highly recommended. I was very happy with the connection I made with this compassionate and highly intelligent vet. Pearl Bailey and I spent more than a couple hours at the visit while the Doc completed her physical exam and went over her past history. When the weigh-in time came and Pearl Bailey tipped the scales at 100.7 pounds, I knew I was in for some prescribed changes coming down the road.

Yikes! Can you say major diet? Well, that is exactly what our resident diva is in for. Now, I know she is going to think I am being unfair and starving her, and she will stop at nothing to implore that to me. However, I am going to follow the comprehensive dietary meal plan that was prescribed, and increase her number of walks each day to help facilitate the process and get us to her ‘goal weight’.

So, listen you well-meaning fans, if you receive any communication from Pearl Bailey on how harsh the living conditions are down here in Siesta, please pay them no mind. After all, she is a drama queen and has a propensity towards exaggeration!

Do Not Fall For It!

Pearl Bailey and her cohort, Ella, were invited to a doggie birthday pool party. In addition to the birthday, it was also to be a ‘welcome to the pack’ celebration as this new little pup, Chloe, a spritely unabashedly adorable Corgi was new to the neighborhood.

Now, telling Pearl Bailey that swimming was going to be part of her day was like telling a kid with a sore throat that the ice cream truck would be parked in front of his house until further notice. Pearl Bailey was beside herself with excitement! Ella, of course, followed PB in her lead, agreeing to accompany her as a mouth-piece component!

The Professor and I loaded up the car, and off we went to the home of our new neighbors, and hey I’m just sayin’, we unleashed the hounds! What a bark fest…there were dogs everywhere. The star of the show was the birthday girl, who was dazzling in the cuteness of her 1-year old age. She delighted and entertained all the humans in attendance by continuously jumping in the pool onto a special doggie float, and then spinning the float around like a diva before jumping off and swimming to the exit stairs. Her repeated antics had the adults in hysterics. Pearl Bailey however, was not the least bit amused and decided, I guess, that this act could NOT be followed, so therefore she pouted and refused to get in the pool.

Now, this is unheard of…Pearl Bailey has a history of never passing a body of water without immersing herself in it, whether it be an appropriate time or not! No amount of coaxing from the Professor or I would budge her, her stubborn streak blasted out on full display to the new neighbors! She continued by exhibiting a mopey persona choosing instead to preamble around the yard in isolation of the other dogs while in search of new lizard prey.

When I had not seen or heard from her for a bit, I glanced out over the yard. There she was sitting by herself wearing a party hat. I thought to myself, ‘…hey you party animal, now you’re starting to get in the spirit!’ It was then I realized that she was NOT wearing a party hat at all, she was stealing the thunder of the garden gnome behind her!

This dame will stop at nothing in getting attention!

Pearl Bailey is a habitual dreamer. I kid you not, when she is not awake and outside wreaking havoc, she is found asleep and dreaming sensational dreams. I often walk by her on the way to the kitchen, and witness her animated yet sound-asleep. I find it fascinating that she becomes so immersed in such vivid dreams that she supplies narrative regardless of what is going on around her.

Dreams are a complicated business. The veterinarian informs me that the altered-brain state that Pearl Bailey enters multiple times a day is an equivalent of a human daydreaming. “Often,” she says, “…in this state of mind, Pearl Bailey can conquer what is frightening her.” Ah ha! I got it, Pearl Bailey is dreaming of Merle the Squirrel, her nemesis and villain that pervades her outside world. So, when she is inside sleeping, she is working on her wish fulfillment, just like humans when their mind wanders.

Regardless of the cause and effect, I still garner great amusement when I witness this everyday surreal activity!

Pearl Bailey and I were upstairs in my studio this morning, and as I became fully engaged in my activities, she was sleeping quietly at my feet, which is a heavenly thing! After a few hours, I noticed that Pearl Bailey had slipped away. Hmmm….I thought, ’I wonder where she has gone?’  So I stopped what I was into, got up and went a lookin’. Sure enough I found her sitting in the middle of my once neatly made bed that now looked as if the covers had made their way through a Waring Blender.. Ugh, Pearl Bailey…why?????

Once I shooed her down and re-made the bed properly, I returned to the studio with thoughts in my head.  Curious, I immediately went to GOOGLE and posed my question: WHY DOES MY DOG MESS UP MY BED? Well the query posted up ‘hits’ like, Why Do Dogs Dig At Their Bed? or Why Do Dogs Get In Your Bed? or even How To Make Your Bed With Your Dog In It! Ha Ha!  Seriously…How to Make Your Bed With Your Dog In it?? I’m not looking at that article for sure!

Still plagued by the oddity of it, I searched a little more and finally came up with a ‘hit’ that shed some light on this seemingly pointless behavior of Pearl Bailey’s. I pulled up the post and there in front of my eyes was a pup looking remarkably similar to Pearl Bailey in her youth! Hmm…YOU HAD ME AT HELLO…let me read on!

Well, the article I read spelled out that this behavior is rooted to a primal canine instinct inherent before the canine/humankind partnership began. In the wild, these creatures would seek sleep in a den or sheltered area. Once the spot was selected they would clear a shallow hole that would help keep their legs warm in the winter by allowing them to curl them under their body, and cool in the summer as they nestled against the cool earth. So, by Pearl Bailey scrunching up my bedcovers she is really instinctively preparing a comfortable place to lay.   Ah Ha!!!!   She’s plumping the pillows just like I do!

So there you have it, Pearl Bailey is emulating my behavior only she does it in reverse? What a conundrum!

Pearl Bailey has done it again, but this time she’s in the ‘dog house’ with the Professor.

After taking a long walk yesterday late morning, the Professor and I decided to take a ride. We rode out to Blue Skies Landscaping to see our friend, Claudio, to purchase some replacement plants for the garden boxes down in Pearl Bailey’s Shangri-La. There were two boxes on the end caps of our garden boxes that had not taken to their plantings. We walked the grounds of the Blue Skies compound and the Professor spied these miniature Old Man Palms and asked Claudio if he thought they would be suitable. We discussed the drought tolerance, the sun requirements, etc. – the only thing we didn’t think of was Pearl Bailey’s demonic and destructive nature, I mean…why would we? Claudio told us these were ‘specimen’ plantings, and although somewhat pricey, they would be the perfect flanking for our mature plant boxes.

We happily returned home in time to have them planted and mulched before the afternoon rain came down. All was right in the world until this morning.

Pearl Bailey, anxious to get down to her Shangri-La at a slightly earlier time than usual, raced the steps ahead me. She was waiting at the kitchen door eager to get into the yard to bark at the trash collectors. Once that offense was properly dealt with, she began her normal saunter around the property and I returned to the coffee maker and the morning news.

After about a half-hour had passed and I heard nothing further from Miss Bailey, I decided to go outside to see what was holding her attention. There she was in the middle of the yard surrounded by the remains of both the Old Man Palms. She had ripped BOTH palms to smithereens! I mean….what the what??? Did she think they were interlopers or invaders from outer space? Were their rustic ‘burlap’ wrapped trunk fringes so irresistible they deserved total annihilation ? I was rendered speechless, I truly was!

I returned to the kitchen for a second cup of needed coffee. I am still waiting for the Professor to come downstairs and discover that his ‘investment’ took an early morning nose-dive.

Oh, you are in big trouble now, Pearl Bailey!

Wedneday, September 25th 9:05 am

Another day, another dollar and another morning hour spent in exasperation with Miss Pearl Bailey.

So, this morning Her Majesty shows up looking like waif. I mean, how does she do it? I looked down at her with dismay and said “Is this to be your Halloween costume – are you going as a One-Eyed Creepy Clown?” to which she replied, “Where is my breakfast?”

Don’t you just love when a question you ask gets answered with a question?