Category: Antics of Pearl Bailey

One look confirms it – Pearl Bailey has donned another disguise! And, she stinks to high heaven, too. Ugh, I do not know what I am going to do with this waif of a dog. She is incorrigible!

Last evening I let her out to carouse in her Shangri-La. Because it was a balmy evening down here on the Key, and I was sensitive to her enjoyment of the pleasant weather, I let her be. After about an hour, I began my ‘calling to come in’ routine. No response. After four or five attempts I resorted to calling in the big guns! Yes, after my failed efforts to get her to come in on her own, I enlisted the Professor for back up. Of course, one bellow from our deep-voiced patriarch I knew would see instant results, which it did (footnote to self – call out the big guns after one try – not five!)

Well folks, just take a look at what came sauntering in the door – and can I tell you how bad she smelled? I am certain from the odor that she had met face-to-face with a skunk or a possum or a pissed off Merle Squirrel – because when I tell you the stench that was emanating from her was gamey in its perfume, well…you catch my drift. Let’s just say, she reeked with an aroma that was far from a bouquet.

I could not stand to look at her in her filthy disguise. The facial mask that she seemingly crafted all on her own held no amusement to me either! And her two toned back coat made me wonder IF in the veil of nightfall someone had switched my beautiful white dog with a mangy stray – but ‘No’, that was not the case.

Listen, I tell Pearl Bailey how gorgeous she is at least once a day. I praise her for her alluring beauty and this is how she chooses to repay me? I’ve decided – she’s a character of Jessica Rabbit ilk – ‘not really bad just drawn that way!’

Pearl Bailey is now a robust six year old and frolics with the best of them. But back in the beginning of our relationship we spent our time sequestered in an idyllic cottage nestled by a riverbank on a horse farm in the quaint antique town of Royal Oak, Maryland. Without the benefit of an fenced area for Pearl Bailey, she and I would take long languid walks through the farm several times a day. A pretty good way to start a life.

The Professor arranged for our stewardship of Miss Bailey after the devastating losses of our two boy dogs within five weeks of each other. He sought out a breeder whose bloodline breeding program was specifically developed to produce dogs with quality health, personality, and temperament. Pearl Bailey also graduated through the breeder’s extensive training program earning herself a Ph.D level degree of excellence in behavior! (“What!”, you say? I know my sentiments exactly.)

The Professor and I were in transition at the time of our acquisition. Our Maryland home was sold and we had a couple of months’ worth of work commitments to finish up before our relocation to Florida. It wound up that I would stay at the cottage during the week with PB, and the Professor would stay in town close to his office. Weekends were reserved for time all together at the cottage.

There is something very sacred about walking along a country road. I think it so spiritual to lose your angst and invite in the beauty of what surrounds you. It transports a soul.

When I came upon this photo in my cache, I reflected back on the beginning of my love affair for Pearl Bailey. We were glued to each other, eager and anxious for all that life had waiting for us. Happiness pervaded our psyches and it showed every day. I finished my third book down there on that horse farm, and Pearl Bailey spread her wings and grew into a wonderful companion canine and muse. All from taking those long walks down a country lane.

As the sun set over the granite waves of the Gulf of Mexico, I paused to say grace and send out of note of thanks for a perfect end to a perfect day.

When the sun finally sank away leaving a shroud of mango silk draped across the sky, the Professor and I headed to dinner where we shared a pot of tea and a perfectly lovely meal.

Some days just end well!

Take a look at this photo, at first glance; you would think ‘what an adorable puppy’, I mean…so did I. When she was a pup she was a “looker” that’s for sure. We are speaking about, Miss Pearl Bailey, of course, she was five months old in this picture.

Now, I ask you to take a hard second look at this clandestine photo shot. I actually had to sneak up on her to get it. Pearl Bailey is sitting on my glass-top coffee table just as big as she pleased. Now, a half-grown Retriever probably weighs 40 lbs. at five months, so it is even more astounding that I actually took a calm moment to get the shot before shooing her off. You see I needed validation because even back then she was demonstrating errant behavior.

So, now you can quite understand why I am diligent in exposing her antics. If her restrictive upbringing ever comes to the forefront, I will have documented proof that my parental skills had nothing to do with it, she was born that way!

I guess Pearl Bailey took me literally.

November is the month when we lay down mulch on the property. That, of course, includes all the beds down in Pearl Bailey’s Shangri-La. After the huge task is completed, the property is just lovely with its outlined definitions. It is a big undertaking and takes the good part of the day to complete. During this process, the dogs need to remain sequestered indoors as I am sure you have already guessed.

Once the crew had finished, I had a very stern talk with Pearl Bailey and Ella. Ella, true to her nature, did not react or acknowledge anything I had to say. But Pearl Bailey, on the other hand, listened intently. I swear her vocabulary increases everyday. Well, she listened to my warnings about not rolling around in the cocoa brown mulch, but did not heed them. No surprise there.

This is how I found her just moments after I had let her loose. I guess its just that instinctual canine behavior coming forward in her mind again. I mean why else would this otherwise apparently sane dog willfully roll around in an odorific smell? I need to find a way past this leftover behavior from when dogs were still wild and had to hunt for a living.

The other theory I heard was plausible (but with no scientific merit). This theory explores the dominant senses of humans vs. the dominant senses of canines. In human beings, the dominant sense is our vision, while in dogs it is their sense of smell. Whereas sensory stimulation is shared by both species, it seems canines may be prone to seeking such stimulation to an excessive degree. So, I guess one can liken Pearl Bailey’s overly developed sensory capacity for rolling in smelly organic matter to a human’s misguided sense of visual stimulation in wearing overly loud and obnoxious clothing while on vacation!

Seriously? Does any one get why I am outraged? Look at this beautiful animal; prettiest dog I ever owned. Those cream colored eyelashes and that ‘look right through you come hither stare’- beauty that astounding should be outlawed. And now, look at what I have to contend with…and mind you, this is on a daily basis! No time off for holidays either!

Apparently, there is not one remorseful feeling in Pearl Bailey’s psyche. She is content and snug in her dishelved state as she lies in wait for a dog cookie to drop. Think again, sister!

There are consequences for not toeing the line!

Meet Simba, London, Whisper, Legion, Rocket, Ziva and Isabella. These beauties are from Therapy K9s of Southwest Florida and, all hold the distinctive jobs of performing therapy work in health and education communities in southwest Florida. Their purpose on this earth is to deliver joy and impart unconditional love.

This week they really got in the spirit. Together with their handlers, these guys dressed as Pilgrims and perched up on chairs around a table for Thanksgiving dinner. I know you are thinking (as did I) ‘eeeeh gad, is that a real turkey inches from six chow hounds?’ But no, the turkey is plastic, although these lovelies got plenty of praise and treats for their participation in the photo shoot!

While the picture may not be as famous as the “Dogs Around The Poker Table” shot, I’ll just bet the message it delivers sends it over the top. These fellows are illustrating what is it to deliver ‘calm joy’. I hope this is one illustration you’re not soon to forget!

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!

Don’t be fooled by her beguiling smile, she clearly and wantonly disobeyed my order to stay clean until Thanksgiving! I cleaned the house, I cleaned up the yard, hell…I even cleaned out the refrigerator to make room for the bird! All I asked of Pearl Bailey was KEEP YOUR SELF CLEAN!

Listen, the autumn temperatures down here – cool mornings, warm days, cool evenings – I get it – she is enthralled to spend time down in her Shangri-La (her earthly paradise.) But is it asking too much for her to refrain from rolling in dirt?

Why oh why, did I get this rough and tumble tom-boy instead of the dainty, femme fatale I longed for? Pearl Bailey’s behavior is out of control. Seriously, you should have seen how grimy the paper towels were when I wiped her face. I used up more than half a roll!

At least she likes getting a facial!

I believe Pearl Bailey’s psyche has been taken over by some invisible hobgoblin. I kid you not; she is possessed and is acting in the manner of a hooligan! This personality change seems to coincide with the arrival of our cooler temperatures down here on the Suncoast. I attached a photo – just look at her eyes…you see it, don’t you? Lunacy.

This morning she woke me more than an hour before dawn. She was excited and well, down right agitated. She raced down the stairs like they were on fire and sat at the back door wagging her tail like she was operating a fanning device. Once I caught up to her and successfully opened the door, she tore through the yard in a tizzy making at least ten rounds of loop-de-loos. Then she found her favorite tree and took a plop. There she laid for the next couple of hours, awake but without changing position and seemingly happy as a clam. When the dawn finally broke through the horizon and the birds and squirrels began to wake, she meandered around the yard once or twice and returned to her ‘spot’. Around 8 am, I called her in for breakfast.

Pearl Bailey, usually ravenous for food, came into the house in a tear yet ignoring her bowl. Instead, she made loops around the furniture, taking her toys one by one and tossing them high in the air all the while clambering yips and yaps, and rolling around on the rug with all four paws extended high in the air. I thought to myself, this demon dog is most definitely under the trance of some evil spirit! Her behavior continued until she ran out of steam and settled at my feet. That was a good thing because when I am awakened before my normal rising time, I am usually glaze-eyed and act without sound judgement.

The Professor and Lady Ella descended the stairway around 9 am – a civilized time of day for rising in my opinion. Pearl Bailey jumped up from her reverie and accompanied Ella outside for her toiletry. Once outside, she began her erratic gyrations again, and the normally reserved Ella looked over at her like she had three heads. After a bit, they both came in and ate their kibble.

Pearl Bailey is at my feet sleeping now, which is a normal occurrence . However, I would bet my bottom dollar that in this dame’s slumber she is dreaming of some afternoon antics to spice up her perceived monotony. Me, on the other hand, need to find my way to that glorious screen porch of ours…I am in dire need of a nap myself!

I thought a little humor would be nice way to start off your day. I came upon this image and had to laugh out loud when I saw it. While it may not speak to some, it amused me to no end as I have been obsessed with ‘G-I-A-N-T-S’ since first discovering Roald Dahl’s wonderful novel The BFG. And, of course, when the Steven Spielberg bought this fantastic story to the silver screen, I become infatuated even more!

This GIANT is perched on ‘top of the world’ so to speak. He is playing a ukulele and seemingly does not have a care in the world. That’s the way I feel when I play my uke, the outside world and all its stresses just magically disappear and I am transported. Music does that to a soul, it’s like a big hit of dopamine to the brain. Whether you are listening to a favorite song or are using your gift in presenting a song, it is a soothing balm to the spirit. As a youngster, I would always come up with these great ideas to play on my piano (a Steinway – a gift from my father that also came with high expectations). As I played the piano, I would just allow all these ideas and thoughts to float through my head, and still do to this day. I have let these ideas manifest in other parts of my life too – hence I have grown hugely through the gift of music.

I guess today’s message is about encouraging you to seek out your bliss. Where I find endless delight and joy from an image of a GIANT playing a ukulele, I hope you find amusement in viewing or discovering something that tickles your fancy!

This world needs a little more merriment!